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Articles
Persuading and Influencing People - a
Negotiators
Stock and Trade
by Bob Gibson
The common perception among many
is that businesspeople are set in their ways, and impervious to
persuasion or influence. Nothing could be further from the
truth. The fact is, people are easily influenced, easily
persuaded, and easily manipulated in our society. Let’s look
at how easily people can be influenced:
- People are so easily influenced
that many tattoo their skin, pierce virtually any part of their
body, wear shoes that make it difficult to walk, and eat
goldfish.
- People are so easily influenced
that many salespeople will willingly work long hours several
days a week, accept 2 weeks vacation and very little pay, and be
elated with a plaque and applause at an End-of-the Year-Banquet.
- People are so easily influenced
that fundamentalists in America routinely deny evolution and
abhor having a drink of wine or dancing. In certain parts
of the country they handle poisonous snakes, and they do all of
this for no money and no fame.
- People are so easily influenced
that police and firefighters work long hours, put themselves in
harms way and run the risk of leaving their families
abandoned. They do this for very little $.
- People are so easily influenced
that workers who live well and are secure will go on strike and
cripple a company, ruining a mode of living for themselves,
management, and depriving customers of the opportunity to
purchase their products.
- People are so easily influenced
that many will spend a career underemployed, underpaid, and
disgruntled at a job that is not fulfilling or creative.
- People are so easily influenced
that tens of thousands study for degrees (even in America where
dropouts like Bill Gates, Stephen Speilberg and Steven Jobs do
fairly well) to be “Qualified”.
- People are so easily influenced
that they willingly strap bombs on their bodies, walk into
restaurants and public buildings and blow themselves up.
- People are so easily influenced
that many depend on The Wine Spectator to decide what they like
to drink, Vogue to decide what to wear, and ministers to decide
what to believe.
As I go through the above, it’s
got to strike you that some of these are just crazy. Why would
anyone perform stunts like these, especially for free?
They all do this to
satisfy an internal need.
Many people think that negotiation
is about tactics and strategies. Those are just the tools,
much as scalpels and forceps are the tools of the physician.
Those aren’t much use if the Doctor doesn’t know which ones to
use, where to use them, when to use them, and how to use them to
best effect. The finest scalpel in the hands of a barbarian is
still just an axe.
Understanding what drives people
is the stock and trade of the negotiator. When you understand
what drives someone, selecting the proper tools for the job isn’t
really that difficult.
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“There are always two negotiations taking place simultaneously - the obvious, conventional one on top of the table, concerning issues:
What’s going to happen? Where? When? Who?
How much? How many? How big? How long? What color,? How fast?...But the real negotiation - the subtle, complex negotiation - goes on “under the table” and isn’t about issues at all.
It’s about Who-You-Are, and Who-They-Are.”
- Bob
Gibson
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To come to agreement with people,
you often don’t have to give them what they say they want.
Give them what they want “under the table”. Many people
say they want the same thing. The truth is – they want it
for very different reasons.
An example might be a group of
young women in Los Angeles, all of whom want to go into
acting. Secretly, Amy may not enjoy acting per se, but wants
to be famous and a celebrity. She dreams of stepping out a
limo onto the red carpet with the flashbulbs popping. Britney
may want the riches and envy the earning power of the stars on top
of the heap. Carol may truly enjoy the acting experience, the
process of getting inside the head of another – of capturing that
individual. She considers herself an artist and would act for
nothing.
These young women all want the
same thing – a career in acting – but for very different
reasons. They are driven by different forces “under the
table”.
In business (and life) we are
driven by different forces as well. Many want power
and control. Many want wealth.
Many want security. Some want Harmony
To others, being
right drives their actions. Approval
is a motivator for many, as is attention
Find out what’s “under the
table” and you have access to the levers that work the top of the
table.
Bob Gibson is a negotiation strategist and the president
of San Francisco-based Negotiation Resources
He may be reached at 800-572-8005.
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